Tutto A Te Mi Guida
by jo-chan
Summary: Ohayo minna! I'm back! My new fic! Pls. r&r! Aoshi leaves Aoiya and Misao for good. But sometimes, people always come back to where they really belong. "And all my efforts were for nothing, for there is only sorrow in loving..."
1. Painful Decisions

Tutto A Te Mi Guida

Tutto A Te Mi Guida

By: [Jo-chan][1]

Disclaimers: I do not own RK and its characters. Sole credits would have to be given to Nobuhiro Watsuki for creating these wonderful characters. I am merely borrowing them for a few pages. Please don't sue, I'm a good kid.

Jo-chan: Ohayo minna, sorry for the long absence! Mal, Seranida, missed you too! e.e* (teary-eyed) Anyway, I didn't drop off the face of the Earth... yet. Here's a new ficcie and I hope you read it. Ja!

*********

Chapter 1- Painful Decisions

Even in sleep, she cried. 

Aoshi swallowed a painful lump in his throat as he gazed at the tormented face of Misao, haunted by sadness even in slumber. His hand clenched as he saw the silver tendrils of tears that adorned her hallowed cheeks. It has been two weeks. Two painful, excruciating weeks. 

__

~ "I love you! Why can't you be with me?" ~

'Gomen Misao... it's not that easy...' whispered Aoshi as he recalled the words that gave him so much pain that it almost became pleasure. An ache in his heart brought him here, a selfish indulgence that he begged to share. But even now, there was no end to this pain, a pain that has become his ever since he refused her love.

__

~ "No, don't love me Misao," he said in a dead monotone as he watched the tear-brightened eyes dim in response to his answer. ~

Misao suddenly hiccuped as she huddled deeper into her blankets. It was as if she had no warmth, as if she was all alone in the whole world. Her head buried deeper under the covers, hiding itself from Aoshi's view. Against his will, Aoshi's hand reached out, burning to touch even a tress of her hair.

Midway he paused, his hand trembling ever so slightly. He took a deep breath and slowly, he touched her hair, with a gentleness that bespoke a hundred truths more than words ever could. He was touching her like a penitent upon the Holy Grail, like a blind man upon sunlight with soft, feathery, almost hesitant caresses. 

His fingertips hovered over her loosened tresses, touching it like a dream. "Sumen nasai Misao... I'm sorry for your pain," Aoshi whispered as he withdrew his hand. He reached into the pocket of his trench coat, his movements slow, as if drained off all life and vitality. 

A slight clink of chains revealed a delicate necklace. Aoshi held it carefully in his hand as he attached a small heart-shaped pendant to it. His fingertips lingered over the sapphire rose engraved so skillfully on the pendant. The intricacy of the design was matchless but the words engraved on the back eluded his understanding. 

__

Tutto a te mi guida

Somehow that foreign phrase made the pendant all the more precious and Aoshi kept that pendant with him since a client awarded him with it at the age of seventeen. The sapphire reminded him of Misao's eyes and he has been waiting to give Misao this necklace since he possessed it. But the turbulence of the past years has weighed heavily in his heart.

'I can't be the man you love Misao... so onegai... don't love me..." he thought as he placed the locket carefully upon Misao's futon. A small scroll soon stood beside the locket as Aoshi silently left Misao's room. 

Outside the gates of Aoiya, he paused one last time as the moon peered above the darkened clouds. "Sayonara Misao..." he said as he left into the darkness of the night.

*********************

A patch of sunlight illuminated Misao's face as she turned over, wearily opening her eyes. 'Nothing's changed,' thought Misao dully as tears quickly blurred her vision. She stretched a bit and her eyes flew open when her hand hit something above her head. She sat up quickly when Okina entered her room.

Quickly forgetting the strange thing she encountered, she looked warily up the grim expression on Okina's face. "Doushita no Jiya?" she asked as she straightened the collar of her sleeping gi. 

"Misao-chan... Aoshi left us," he said as he gazed at the face of the girl he loved like a daughter. The slightest flicker registered upon her face but the mask she has worn for these last two weeks was firmly in place. 

"That's nothing new," she replied in a dead tone. Her fingers whitened on her sheets as she turned her face away from Jiya's probing eyes. Her eyes fell upon the object near her pillow. A small scroll covered it as she lifted the scroll away from the hard lump.

Jiya gasped as sunlight fell upon the object. Misao's grip tightened on the scroll as she gazed in bewilderment upon the necklace. Jiya first picked it up, turning the necklace in his hands with an expression of wonder. "Misao-chan, it's beautiful..." exclaimed Jiya as the sunlight glinted upon the glittering sapphire rose.

"Please take it away from me Jiya...." said Misao as she lowered her head, her bangs obscuring her eyes. Startled, Jiya tried to press the necklace upon Misao's hand. "Iie, Misao-chan, this necklace is for you!" he said.

Roughly, Misao shoved the necklace back in Okina's hand. "I don't care! I don't care! I hate Aoshi Shinomori! I don't want to touch anything from him because I hate him so much!" screamed Misao as she threw off her sheets. At her scream, Okon and Omasu stuck their heads in worriedly. 

"Misao-chan, daijoubu ka?" they asked. Misao knelt on her futon as she gazed enraged at the people in her room. The ache inside her heart became an overpowering desire to hurt and scream until she lost her voice. 

"Just leave me alone! Can't you understand me? Get out of my room!" screamed Misao as she let loose her kunais that she buried under her pillow. The kunais struck forcefully at the wall beside Jiya and Omasu and Okon. It vibrated for a tense moment as she waited for the intruders to leave.

White-faced, Okina and the others left. Okina paused, his hand resting warily on the paper door. The necklace that dangled off his other hand glittered wildly, as if calling attention to its beauty. Softly, Okina spoke, gauging Misao's wild expression. 

"Misao-chan, don't shut us out. Don't do what Aoshi did, it would only bring you pain. We're always here for you Misao, you know how much we love you," said Okina softly as waited for any hint of response from Misao.

A long moment passed, almost like an eternity. Jiay shook his head as he tossed the necklace out, landing on the foot of Misao's futon. "I believe this was meant for you Misao..." he said before turning around and walking away.

The sliding of the paper door closed brought tears of anger and frustration in Misao's eyes. "He's gone, I can be happy now can't I?" she thought as she wiped away the tears. But the painful ache in her heart proved otherwise as she crawled over and held the necklace close to her heart. Nothing eased the pain as she opened the small scroll and read his message. 

~ Sayonara Misao... ~

She turned the necklace over in her hand, the delicate beauty of the necklace and the sheer magnificence of the pendant's design piercing her heart's gloom. "Why?" she asked aloud in the silent room. 

"Why?"

To be continued

***********

Author's Note:

I am stuck in a writer's rut! I can't seem to finish my two other stories so I took a break from writing them. Don't worry, I'll finish them somehow but right now, my ideas are running wild. Anyway, the title of the story is in Italian, I would very much appreciate it if anybody who knows the language wouldn't divulge the translation of my title. I would reveal the meaning in time and I hope you'll like my story. C&C's are very much appreciated.

   [1]: mailto: jaded_cutie@edsamail.com.ph



	2. Even If I'm Not With You

Tutto A Te Mi Guida

Tutto A Te Mi Guida

Chapter 2- Even If I'm Not With You

Disclaimers: Standard RK disclaimers apply. I'm merely borrowing these characters for the purpose of writing this fic. Please don't sue, I'm a good kid.

Jo-chan: Arigatou gozaimasu to those who reviewed my little story, I don't usually write angst so the feedback was extremely appreciated. 

**********

And yet all my efforts were for nothing

For there is only sorrow in loving

--Jo-chan

The sun was setting across the horizon.

Aoshi let the wind sweep his hair away from his face, wishing that the breeze that touched him so intimately is Misao's hand. He placed his elbows against the ship's rail as he gazed out at the fading land.

The sky was vividly tinged with orange and blue, the sea gulls sweeping across the darkened sea. Aoshi closed his eyes, hoping that the serenity would bring him even a small amount of peace. 

But the beauty of dusk did little to erase the memory of Misao's tears. "I hope she accepts my gift," he thought as he leaned against the ship's rail. 

"Why so lonely caro?" asked a velvety female voice. 

Aoshi turned around swiftly as he saw a beautiful young woman smiling at him. He bowed respectfully, noting the elegant western attire the woman was wearing. She had a strange accent, not Dutch or English and her accent somehow reminds him of a former client.

She spoke in softly accented Japanese although he wasn't able to understand her last word. "Konnichiwa," he said shortly before turning away to leave. A slim hand held onto his sleeve, making him stop before he can walk away. 

"Please stay... I'm feeling rather lonely," she said, her voice different, sounding terrible vulnerable unlike her earlier flirtatious tone. Aoshi turned to look at her more closely. She smiled slightly when he hesitated and it was then when he noticed her warm, golden-brown eyes. Her eyes held a vibrance reminiscent of Misao but he can also read the sorrow. She bore such a strong resemblance to Misao's presence it was almost as if she was actually there with him.

"Watashi wa Shinomori Aoshi," he said extending his hand in a western gesture that he learned in his years of espionage. Her smile widened more as she took his hand and responded in kind. "Watashi wa Soledad Garcia," she said with a smile.

In the dim light, Aoshi realized she was still pretty young, not much older than Misao's 18 years. They kept silent for awhile, still uneasy with each other's company. She broke the silence after a while, her voice light and soft as she said, "The meaning of my name is 'solitude' Aoshi. Somehow, I have a feeling that you're very familiar with that emotion..."

Aoshi swallowed a lump of regret as he gazed at the sight of Japan's shore growing dim. He was putting an ocean between them now, there is no turning back in the path he has chosen. 

"Gomen ne, Misao..."

**********

Misao huddled in her futon, not having moved an inch since morning. She hugged her knees tightly, gazing into the dark nothingness. The moon has risen high in the sky, its silvery beams illuminating the golden locket near her foot.

"Why?" she whispered, her voice so full of pain and anger. Her lifeless blue eyes were red-rimmed, a testimony to all the endless tears she shed. The note lay crumpled near the necklace, its sheet dark with tearstains.

A slight rasp of the door opening brought forth a brief vision of light before the paper door was slid shut. Soft padding of feet sounded yet Misao didn't attempt to look who it was. She felt too weary to even lift her head.

"Misao, this has got to stop," said Okina firmly as he planted himself directly in front of the young woman. Misao felt a brief flare of annoyance at his officious tone before the gloom reasserted itself.

Okina snorted in derision as he gazed at the pale and silent figure huddled within herself. "How dare you call yourself an okashira when a mere rejection from a man would break you so!" he exclaimed, the disdain so evident in his voice.

Misao dully lifted her head. "You're right, I'm a failure..." she whispered. Her shoulders were suddenly gripped with such force, bruises were sure to appear. 

Okina began shaking her fiercely, his eyes suspiciously bright. "You're right, you are a failure if you let yourself give in to this sorrow! You can't let this pain rule your life Misao-chan! Can't you see that all you're doing is pitying yourself?" he yelled as he shook Misao fiercely.

Trembling, Misao's eyes raised up to meet Okina's fierce gaze. "It-- It just hurts so much Jiya..." she whispered as tears welled in her eyes. Okina's grip loosened as his hands slid from her shoulders to encircle her in a hug.

"Then just cry Misao-chan. I'm here, I'll never leave you..." he whispered as the girl's slim shoulders began to heave with wracking sobs. "Jiya-- he doesn't love-- Aoshi-sama doesn't love me! It hurts so much to know he can't even love me just a little..." sobbed Misao as she slid her own arms around Jiya.

"Of course he can't love you Misao... he loves you far too much to risk hurting you by letting you love a stained man like him..." whispered Okina as he rocked the girl comfortingly in his arms. His gaze fell upon the necklace and a distant memory stirred.

~ "I can't wait to give this to Misao-chan Jiya!" said seventeen year old Aoshi as he faced his comrade. Okina only chuckled as the normally placid okashira displayed an emotion that can only be described as enthusiasm. Okina carefully examined the necklace, noting the excellent craftsmanship. "It's far too fine for a child okashira. Maybe you should give it to someone older," he suggested as Aoshi only shook his head in negation. "Iie Jiya. The sapphire rose in the center of the locket reminds me of her eyes, maybe I'll just give it to her when she's older," mused Aoshi as he pocketed the necklace. Okina chuckled as he elbowed Aoshi playfully, "You know the necklace is more fit for a bride's gift okashira," he joked. Aoshi only smiled wistfully as he shook his head. 

"Someday..." ~

Misao hiccuped as she wiped away her tears on Okina's gi. Okina sighed as he cradled the young woman. "Feel better now Misao?" he asked gently as Misao pulled back and sheepishly scratched her head.

"Ano... gomen ne Jiya for the silly way I've acted these past few days," she whispered, her eyes downcast. Okina sighed in relief as he slowly stood up and carefully picked up the locket. He silently handed her the locket, ignoring the anger that leapt in her transparent blue eyes.

"Do this for me Misao, I'm an old man. Keep this necklace, Aoshi waited a long time just to give you this," he said wearily as he turned to leave. The girl remained silent and he turned to open the door.

"You're such a liar Jiya... Aoshi doesn't care even a bit. But I'll keep this if it'll make you happy," said Misao in resignation feeling as if the golden necklace burned her hand as she held onto it. 

Okina turned, grabbed the necklace and slipped it onto her head. Misao's eyes widened and before she knew it, she was now wearing the necklace. "This will make me happy," said Okina in satisfaction before turning away to leave. "I expect you back to work tomorrow morning okashira," added Okina as he closed the door of Misao's room.

***********

~ The acrid smell of gunpowder and blood rose in his nostrils. Aoshi choked back the urge to gag, knowing that it was only in his strength could he save his comrades. "Hannya, Hyotoko, Beshimi, Shikijo!" he cried out in a voice so full of despair.

"No, I can't fail now..." he thought wildly as Hannya collapsed. The image then faded and an image of a laughing chibi-Misao replaced it. "Ne Aoshi-sama? You'll never leave Misao-chan ne?" she asked her ocean-blue eyes so full of innocence.

"Iie!!!! Why are your hands so full of blood?" screamed chibi-Misao as Aoshi tried to hold her. The image of chibi-Misao changed into an image of an 18-year old young woman. She was laughing, reaching for him but when she fell into his arms, her eyes were full of tears. 

"No Misao. NO!!!!!" he shouted. ~

Aoshi woke up panting, sweat staining his sheets. His heart pounded wildly as he loosened the sheet covering him. His chest was slick with sweat, his old scars itching in a remembrance of pain. 

He dropped his head in his hands. "When will this end?" he asked in the darkness of his cabin. 

"When?"

******************

Back in Japan, Misao stood up slowly, clenching her fists as she walked over to open her door. 

The time for grieving is over. Aoshi has made his decision to go, there was nothing more she can do. All Misao wants now is to be able to move on. 

"I will make it through this," whispered Misao fiercely in the incoming dawn. Her eyes narrowed in determination as she carefully opened a chest in the corner of her room. With reverent hands, she opened a carefully wrapped object she obtained from her chest.

Two kodachis gleamed in the early morning light. "Otou-chan, I will make a great okashira for you, I swear it on my life," she said as she wrapped her hand around one of the kodachi. She took a deep breath then, and unsheathing and shifting the kodachi in one quick motion, her braid fell down unto her lap.

Dark, raven tresses tumbled over her shoulders and Misao felt a sense of sorrow and at the same time, freedom. 'Everyone has a price to pay for growing up, maybe for her, it had to mean giving up a life-long dream.' Misao took a determined breath as she pulled her shortened hair back up on top of her head. (think Misanagi, the female okashira in the episode where they try to find the miracle medicine) She placed two special hair ornaments, a weapon in the guise of a hair-pin.

She stood up, her grip tightening around the twin kodachis she held in both hands. "I will get through this," she vowed.

To be continued...

***********

Author's Note:

Wai! Misao cut off her hair-- but technically, her hair's still pretty long, remember, she was able to put it on top of her head in a style a la Misanagi. I hope you remember her, I can't remember the name of her group though, gomen. Soledad will sort of be a Misao for Aoshi-- please don't hate her character. Italian speaking readers, please keep the meaning of tutto a te mi guida, ONEGAI! Anyway, thank you so much for the reviews.


	3. Someday

Tutto A Te Mi Guida

Tutto A Te Mi Guida

Chapter 3- Someday

Disclaimers: Standard RK disclaimers apply. I'm a good kid, please don't sue.

Jo-chan: (waves) Oi minna! Anyway, time would go swiftly in this particular fic. In the last chapter, Misao brings out her father's kodachis and cuts off her hair. This next chapter takes place after a whole month. Ja minna, please read and review!

*********

A silver arc danced into the air.

Misao was nimbly performing her katas, a series of movements as she trained with her kodachis. It has been a month now, with a few days more give and take. Sweat dropped into her eyes and with an impatient gesture, Misao wipes it away, stopping her furious movements.

A sound of clapping brought her head up quickly and even though she was weary, an excited smile lighted her face when she saw who it was.

"Himura! Kaoru-san!" she exclaimed as she ran over to the end of the training hall to meet her friends. Kenshin beamed his closed-eyed smile while Kaoru flashed her a huge smile.

Kenshin bowed politely as he said, "Ohayou gozaimasu Misao-dono." Misao smacked him playfully, unaware that her strength has increased in the last month rendering Kenshin into an oro-eyed state. "Maa, maa. Himura, you haven't changed at all!" said Misao as she turned to Kaoru.

Kaoru smiled at her understandingly and quietly asked, "How're you doing Misao-chan? I see you've changed since our last meeting." Misao's smile slipped a bit as she forced a lightness in her tone.

She met Kaoru's eyes head-on, with a seriousness that never was there before. "People change Kaoru-san. It wasn't pleasant but I did change a bit," she answered. A huge hand placed on top of her head, making a vein start ticking in her head. Without looking she can already tell who it was. 

"Oi weasel, I see you've gained a few curves to go along with your change," said Sanosuke with a devilish grin as Misao turned in a lightning fast motion and walloped the daylights out of Sano. "Hentai!" she shrieked as her fist connected solidly on Sano.

Megumi then poked her head in, fox-ears drooping slightly as she gazed at Sano's devastated figure. "Sigh, weasel-girl, you never let me rest with all these wounds you keep inflicting," she sighed as she stepped inside the training hall. 

"Who're you calling weasel-girl, fox-lady?" shouted Misao threateningly as she gestured extravagantly with her kodachi. Yahiko popped up beside Megumi, covering his ears at Megumi's 'ohohohohoho' laughter. "Geez, weasel, you're as dense as busu sometimes," muttered Yahiko as he shook his head at the carcass that was once Sano.

"Who're you calling busu Yahiko-chan?!"

"Who're you calling weasel brat?!"

A loud crash reverberated around Aioya as Okina shook his head in dismay and joy. "Yare, yare. They're really back."

**************

Aoshi was reading in the upper deck chair when a slight shadow blocked the sun from his book. With a scowl, he looked up to see Soledad smiling down at him with an idiotic smile similar to Misao when she's trying to coax him into doing something.

"Nani?" he asked in a resigned tone of voice. Soledad's smile widened as she plopped down on the opposite deck chair next to Aoshi. She shrugged innocently as she said, "We're heading towards Spain now Aoshi."

Aoshi shrugged dismissively, wondering why the heck he got on an around the world cruise. He made a resolution to stop and settle down on his next destination. He can't handle another moment of Soledad's genkiness.

He eyes honed on the ring she kept twisting around her finger. It was a family signet ring, with a sapphire engraved in the center. Soledad noticed his look as she shrugged and took off her ring to show it to him, "It's beautiful isn't it?" she said before slipping it back on, her brown eyes shadowed by memories.

Wisely, Aoshi kept silent, still wondering why the ring seemed vaguely familiar. "Hai, Sol-san. It's very beautiful," he remarked before turning his eyes back to his book. Soledad sighed in frustration before she got up. "Just my luck! I'm friends with another overly silent man! It must be my destiny!" she muttered before getting up to leave. 

Aoshi looked quizzically at her departing back. He shrugged and went back to his book.

***********

"Onegai Misao-chan! Please come with us!" said Kaoru over dinner even while fighting with Yahiko over an origiri. Misao sweat-dropped as she gazed at the havoc two bottomless pits for a stomach Yahiko and Sano were wrecking at the restaurant.

"Kaoru-san, I'm very busy with the--" started Misao before Omasu piped up in an enthusiastic tone of voice, "Iie Misao. Okon and I have handled the paperwork when you went off to finish the Kasuki case."

Misao shot Omasu a dirty look as she turned back to face Kaoru's hopeful gaze. "Demo-- Kaoru-san, what would I do on vacation? The only language I know other than Japanese is English, I wouldn't know what to do!" complained Misao.

Yahiko bapped Misao on her head. "Baka! You shouldn't refuse free vacations if it was offered to you!" he said loftily ignoring the scary expression on Misao's face. "You idiot!" screamed Misao launching herself at Yahiko and punching him silly.

Kenshin then cleared his throat, momentarily capturing the attention of the two combatants. "Ano Misao-dono, Sessha thinks you should come. You deserve a long break de gozaru yo. Besides, think how fun it would be, we wanted to share this around the world trip prize with you," he said calmly as Misao flushed.

Misao looked at everybody's expectant faces. She sweat-dropped when she saw Jiya lift a sign that read, 'Go for it my angel'. She sighed, giving in to the inevitable. "Aa. I'll go with you minna," she said amidst the whooping laughter of Kaoru and Yahiko's taunts.

*********

Kaoru was dressed in a loose sleeping gi as she settled in her futon in Misao's room. Their hairs were loosened and in almost identical clothes, both girls bore an uncanny resemblance.

Kaoru sighed as she watched Misao brush her hair. "You had such beautiful hair Misao-chan, why did you cut it?" she asked observing the shadows in the younger girl's eyes.

Misao's shoulders stiffened before she resumed brushing her hair. " I had to let go of the past," answered Misao simply as Kaoru's eyes shone with understanding. Walking over to Misao's futon, Kaoru covered Misao's hand with one of her own. 

Quietly, Kaoru said, "The pain will ease Misao." Misao met Kaoru's eyes with her own dry-eyed gaze. A long look of acceptance passed between them. "I know," whispered Misao before turning away to lie down on her futon.

Their room was plunged into darkness and when the night was completely still, a soft female voice whispered.

"Someday..." whispered Misao.

********

Author's Notes:

Hey minna! I kept writing at irregular intervals, gomen! I hope you don' find my story confusing, a have a plot outlined but the chapters are not exactly clear yet. Sigh, pre-readers onegai? There, I cleared that out. Gomen minna. I hope you guys read and review my story. Thanks! Please pre-readers anyone?


	4. Journey

Tutto a Te Mi Guida

Tutto a Te Mi Guida

Chapter 4- Journey

Disclaimers: I do not own RK and its characters. Sole credits would have to be given to Nobuhiro Watsuki for creating these wonderful characters. I am merely borrowing them for a few pages. Please don't sue, I'm a good kid.

*******************

"Kakkoi Misao-chan, you look kawaii," breathed Omasu as she gazed at the composed young woman standing in front of her. A sheen of tears illuminated Omasu's eyes as the stark contrast between Misao the genki ninja and Misao the Oniwabanshuu okashira played across her mind.

A younger Misao would have danced and jumped around in excitement at the thought of going on a trip with close friends such as Kenshin and Kaoru, but the young woman standing stock still before her now bore more resemblance to a block of ice.

Before, Misao's eyes had been like the summer sky: warm and so full of vibrance, her emotions clearly shining through them. In fact, it was the transparency of her feelings that had endeared her to so many people. However, Misao's eyes were now like the wintry sky, a chip off the same block of ice Aoshi Shinomori seemed to have been carved from.

"She is so lost in pain now," whispered Omasu as she watched the young woman she'd known all her life. Misao was reading documents even while preparing for the trip. In the last few months the other Oniwabanshuu tried but with no success to make Misao slow down in her work. But apparently, Misao saw work as her only medium of outlet.

Unable to show her feelings, Misao would often bury herself in work, making the Oniwabanshuu work better than ever. As a leader, Omasu couldn't have asked for a better okashira but the shadows in her Misao-chan's eyes would forever haunt her.

Omasu quit her musings as she hurried to hand over the small luggage Misao was bringing along for the trip. "Here's your bag okashira," she said with a bright smile as she sought for even a tiny bit of enthusiasm from Misao.

Misao nodded slightly, clearly distracted as she frowned down at her purple kimono with a yellow obi. Jiya then stepped forward and with misty eyes, he gave Misao one of his famous back-crushing hugs. Instead of fighting it as she used to do, Misao seemed to just tolerate it and stepped back the moment Jiya released her.

"Kami-sama be with you my angel," whispered Okina as he solemnly handed a huge pouch of kunais to Misao. Misao nodded back and said, "I'll come back soon Jiya." She then turned and with a final wave directed at the rest of the Oniwabanshuu, she stepped inside the carriage where the rest of the Kenshin-gumi were seated, arguing.

With a last look at Aoiya, Misao settled back in the cushions and dutifully laughed at Sano and Megumi's antics. The pendant, that was under her kimono, felt cool against her skin. "Just like Aoshi-sama's heart," she thought, as she was lulled into the journey's lethargy.

************

"Spain is beautiful," commented Aoshi as Soledad showed him through the bustling cities and churches.

Soledad widened her eyes at the closed expression on Aoshi's face. "Beautiful? Just beautiful!? Santa Maria, I cannot believe all you can say is that! You're frustratingly hard to please!" complained Soledad as she led Aoshi to sit in a park bench. 

Aoshi quirked an eloquent eyebrow at that as Soledad lapsed into one of her brooding silences. Aoshi leaned back and let the strong Spanish sun beat down upon his face. He was getting a pretty decent tan now, and Soledad's food-binges (much like Misao's) has helped him fill in a bit more. 

"You look much better now Aoshi, you know-- less haunted..." said Soledad quietly as she took a sideways glance at Aoshi. He gave her a cursory look before he said wryly, "Arigatou."

"You left someone special back in Japan didn't you?" she asked suddenly, making Aoshi open his eyes in surprise. "Nani?" he stammered out. She gave him a disgusted look.

"I said, you left someone -- a girl probably -- back in Japan, ne?" she repeated, pleased by the fleeting expressions on his face. There, Soledad knew that being a stranger, Aoshi was less guilty of his past, she hardly knew anything so he didn't have to worry about letting her expectations down. But her question clearly hit a spot as Aoshi was obviously floundering for an answer.

"What makes you say that?" Aoshi asked cautiously, seeing the expectant expression on Soledad's face. He didn't want to talk about Misao, he didn't even want to think about her! In fact, he wasn't even thinking about her-- yeah right!

Soledad made an impatient exclamation. "I meant, you have a cara back home!" "A cara?" asked Aoshi clearly baffled by the term. Soledad scratched her head as she thought of an English or Japanese term for that word. "You know, a koishi or a lover!" she practically yelled not noticing Aoshi's reddening face.

Aoshi made a half-shrug gesture. "Maybe," he answered evasively as Soledad's face grew once again amused. She sighed then, as she looked heavenward and said, "I just wished he thought of me as much as you think of her..."

"I don't think about her--" said Aoshi defensively. At Soledad's quickly raised eyebrow, he added somewhat lamely, "I mean, not that much." Uncomfortable with the direction of their conversation and still unable to bear thinking about Misao in broad daylight, dreaming about her is one thing, but consciously thinking about her is unbearable.

Soledad noticed his discomfiture and dropped the subject, not wanting to force Aoshi into confronting a truth he was unable to acknowledge himself. She gave a sunny smile as she gazed up at the cathedral that loomed so majestically before them, "Don't you think Spanish architecture is fabulous?"

*********

Japanese docks

"Is that our ship?" asked Megumi in a stage-whisper as her horrified gaze was riveted on a dilapidated ship. Kaoru was knocked speechless while Kenshin was beaming his normal close-eyed smile. Sano and Yahiko were loudly criticizing the "ship" while Misao stood shell-shocked at the sight of the supposed "cruise".

"Oro! Maa, maa, Chief Uramura did say it was a government funded reward de gozaru yo," explained Kenshin as he shrugged nonchalantly. Immediately, the red-headed rurouni was seized by an infuriated Kaoru.

"How can you just say 'maa maa'? This is a disaster! I can't be seen on that wreck!" shouted Kaoru as she shook the hapless rurouni by his pink gi. "Orororo," groaned Kenshin as his purple eyes became a twirl. 

Kaoru let go of Kenshin the minute she rendered Kenshin unconscious. "Kaoru-chan, I really don't think you should have done that," said Misao mildly as she helped poor Kenshin up. "Why not? He deserved it! Oh my beautiful new kimonos! They will be completely wasted on this trip!" wailed Kaoru as she covered her face with her hands.

"Well if you keep that up Busu, we might never be able to get on this trip at all!" retorted Yoshi with a grim satisfaction in his voice. "Huh? Nani?" asked Kaoru as she looked up. Before her horrified eyes, the ship's anchor and steps were being drawn up. Final calls for passengers were being issued.

"Masaka! We'll miss the ship!" exclaimed Kaoru snapping out of her lethargy and grabbing Kenshin by the back of his collar. Sano and Yahiko followed after the sprinting tanuki while Misao dutifully followed.

"It's going to be a long trip..." sighed Misao.

********

"This ship is a wreck!" said Sano in disgust as he popped another origiri into his mouth at the ship's 'formal dinning room'. The food served was greasy and unappetizing, and for the past few minutes, Sano and Yahiko had complained and ranted about the torture they were going through.

"Yare, yare, at least now I'll get motivated to go on a diet," said Kaoru with a sigh as she set down her half-finished bowl of miso soup. Kenshin shrugged good-naturedly as he continued eating his dinner. Sano and Yahiko observed kenshin's food-eating as an almost god-like feat.

"Kuso Kenshin. You really must have a stomach of iron, no wonder you were able to stand Jo-chan's god-awful cooking!" breathed Sano in a reverent whisper. A loud smack reverberated across the mostly empty dining room. Yahiko winced as he gazed at the prone Sano. Megumi tsked tsked.

"Goodness tanuki-chan, a refined lady wouldn't be so violent," said Megumi with a disdainful sniff. Misao saw an imminent war about to happen and immediately pacified the two combatants. "Onegai minna, let's not make this trip any worse all right?" she said.

"She started it!" yelled Kaoru as she shook her fist at Megumi. Megumi smirked and only tossed her head arrogantly. "Honestly tanuki, even Misao is now more composed than you are. Learn a little restraint for Kami-sama's sake!" she scoffed. 

"Yeah, Misao is almost as silent as Aoshi is, you better learn from her exam-- oops," started Yahiko before he noticed the stony silence that descended on their group. 

Misao's face was expressionless while Kaoru looked mortified at her student's insensitivity. She quickly turned and caught hold of Yahiko's ear. Ignoring Yahiko's yelps of pain, she twisted to face Misao. "Gomen Misao-chan. Yahiko-chan should apolo--" said Kaoru before she realized she was talking to air.

Misao had disappeared.

**********

Misao walked over the badly maintained hull. She was brooding and silent. A state she had learned to lapse into since Aoshi's departure. Silence was healing... or so she believed."

She walked over to the railings and grimaced at the rusty and almost wobbly support it made. Nevertheless she looked out pensively into the dark sea that loomed before her. 

"Sayonara Nippon," she whispered, feeling the horrible emptiness inside her intensify. With a trembling hand, her fingers stole over the spot where her locket lay hidden under her kimono. She felt strangely disconnected from everyone and everything back at the Aoiya; so much so that even the locket felt foreign to her questing touch."

She took it out and studied it in the dim light. She turned it over and encountered the strange script engraved on it's back. 

__

Tutto a te mi guida

Such strange words. But somehow, it held a sense of power. A sense of sorrow, a sense of hope. She wondered what meaning lay behind the foreign words. Somehow it served to assuage and heighten the pain in her heart.

As she held onto the locket feeling the engraved words imprint itself on her palm, the calligraphy burned into her memory...

Maybe the words meant renewal.

Or maybe...

//Maybe it means a new journey.//

**********

Author's Notes:

Wai! New characters coming up in the next chappie. I still can't divulge the meaning of Tutto A Te Mi Guida yet, sorry minna! Anyway, thank you so much for those who offered to pre-read my story. A very big thanks too to my gorgeous pre-readers, the helped maked this fic a better one. My real inspiration in writing is people like you who share my passion for such wonderful characters like Aoshi and Misao. Please r&r minna!


	5. Adrift

Tutto A Te Mi Guida

Tutto A Te Mi Guida

Chapter 5- Adrift

Disclaimers: I do not own RK and its characters. Sole credits would have to be given to Nobuhiro Watsuki for creating these wonderful characters. Except for my own characters, I am merely borrowing them for a few pages. Please don't sue, I'm a good kid.

*******

Lost in a dream, Aoshi felt adrift.

__

"Do you promise you'd never leave Misao-chan Aoshi-sama?" asked the chibi as she gazed at the seventeen year old Aoshi who smiled tenderly back down at her. "Of course Misao, I could never leave you," vowed Aoshi.

Aoshi started awake, staring at the darkness of his room. The odd shapes took solid form as he adjusted to the inky darkness. "Another dream," he muttered angrily as he angrily pushed his sheets away.

He swung his feet over the side of his bed, still unused to the elevated mattress the foreigners called, "bed". A futon felt so much better and he didn't have to worry about back pains because a futon is never lumpy. 

As he walked over to get a drink, he suddenly felt as if the floor was suddenly pitching and swaying, like the motion of a ship floor. He grabbed a chair, closing his eyes against the nausea he felt rising up in his throat. He head was suddenly spinning and for a brief moment, he could have sworn he felt a strong gust of sea breeze slap across his face.

Immediately his vision cleared and his dark room was the same as before. He found his hand clutching his chest, as if holding on to something tightly. "Kuso!" he exclaimed as he shakily stood up. 

"What the hell was that?"

**********

"I can't believe this is happening!" screamed Kaoru over the loud smack of wind against their ship. A storm had brewed, so fierce it felt as if their ship was being tossed over the water as it valiantly tried to muscle its way out of the storm.

__

Misao tightened her grip on the locket. Somehow, holding onto it made the fear lessen, as if she was holding her Aoshi-sama's hand. Sometimes at night, she would wake up from a memory-dream, holding onto the locket with tears running down her face.

"Masaka," whispered Misao as another strong wave practically tossed their ship sideways. She braced herself against Sano who looked decidedly green. She quickly backed away when she heard tortured, retching noises. 

"This is some trip Kenshin!" said Yahiko as he whooped when the ship crested another huge wave. Kenshin, who looked a little blue replied only weakly, "Oro!"

Kaoru threw herself into Kenshin's arms as she dramatically said, " We're going to die in the middle of the sea, hold me Kenshin!" Kenshin who looked blue earlier turned green and abruptly left their cabin to follow in Sano's footsteps who was retching over the rails.

"Coward!" screamed Kaoru over the loud gusts of wind. Kenshin's exit let a strong wave crash inside their cabin. Wet and miserable, the occupants tried to make the best of their situation. "I should never have left Aizu!" muttered Megumi as she huddled closer to Misao for warmth.

Misao gave her a sardonic smile, "You and me both Takani-sensei." "Kami-sama!" shouted Yahiko as a gigantic wave sent their ship teetering heavily on its left side. It sent the occupants sliding off the floor, dodging the objects that fell on them as well.

Kenshin went back to their cabin, looking like a wet carrot as he dragged Sano back inside. "Sessha thinks this ship is going to sink..." he said grimly as he faced the cranky women inside. Immediately, Kaoru and Megumi pounced on him.

"What do you mean sink? This ship can't sink! I still have so many things left unfinished," moaned both Kaoru and Megumi as they shook Kenshin by his gi. "Orororo!" groaned Kenshin as he got shaken badly.

"Hold on, maybe we can think of something to prevent this ship from capsizing," said Misao grimly as she stood up. Yahiko stood up shakily as well. "Aa, weasel-girl is right, maybe we can think of something," he suggested. Sano looked up, a bit whey-faced as he made his suggestion.

"Why don't you cut loose the cargo?" he suggested before his face turned green again. Megumi and Kaoru let go of Kenshin as the women brightened. "That's right! Now we have a chance!" said Kaoru as a fire burned in her eyes. 

"Minna, let's do what we can," said Misao as she tucked her pouch of kunais in her obi and drew her twin kodachis out. 

"Hai!" chorused the Kenshin-gumi as the followed Misao's lead, stepping out into the storm-tossed night.

*********

Misao got a mouthful of sea water as she opened her mouth to scream out a warning when a giant wave hit. Coughing, she opened her eyes against the stinging sensation of rain and sea-water. She was holding on tightly to a ship pipe as they made their way over to the cargo hold.

"Daijoubu ka Misao?" shouted Kaoru as she stood clinging to a huge mast. Kenshin had his arms securely wrapped around Kaoru to hold her against the mast. Sano and Yahiko clung to a nearby cabin. "Daijoubu desu," answered Misao as she released her grip slowly to make her way towards the cargo hold.

"Misao-dono, it's too dangerous de gozaru yo!" shouted Kenshin as he made his move to pull his arms away from Kaoru. A sudden lurch that sent their ship careening nearly made Kaoru lose her hold on the round mast. Kenshin immediately wrapped his arms around Kaoru again, not wanting to risk Kaoru's life.

"Che! Weasel, go back down! It's not safe!" shouted Sano as he began to make his way towards Misao. It was no use though, Misao was already on top of the huge pile of cargo held together by hemp. Cursing, Sano and the rest watched with fear as Misao shakily held onto the boxes, her kodachis drawn out. 

"Kenshin! Let me go, help Misao!" said Kaoru as she tried to elbow Kenshin's arms away from her. Kenshin gave her a look close enough to his battousai stare that clearly said, 'I won't ever let you go.' Her eyes blurred by tears, Kaoru whispered against Kenshin's gi as she turned, "Gomen Kenshin."

At his surprised look, Kaoru quickly twisted out of his arms, nearly slipping as a strong gust of wind tossed the ship sharply to the right. "Misao!" shouted Kaoru as she made her way to the cargo hold. "Kaoru-dono!" shouted Kenshin as he tried to go after Kaoru. A sharp turn made the ruruoni fall on his back, nearly sliding to the edge of the ship. 

"Kenshin!" screamed Kaoru as she whipped her head back just in time to see Kenshin slide on his back on the slippery deck. "Kaoru no baka!" shouted Misao in frustration as she held on with one hand on the hemp that bound the cargo and the other with her kodachis. She quickly clamped the other kodachi between her teeth, the saya preventing the blade from cutting into her mouth.

The fierce wind whipped Misao's braid in her face, blurring her vision. 'I've got to do this,' thought Misao grimly as she drew the other kodachi she held in her hand out. The ring of steel wove through the roaring wind. Sano's occasional curses would punctuate Kaoru's muffled, terrified sobs. Kaoru was holding onto Kenshin's sleeve as he dangled over the ship's deck. 

Misao looked up briefly to gauge the cargo's distance from Kenshin and Kaoru. It would be close but hopefully, Kenshin would be out of the way by the time the cargo would be released from its hold. She blinked the rain away from her eyes, waiting for the right moment to strike. At Sano's exultant shout and Kaoru's exclamation of relief to her right, Misao struck!

Her aim was true and swift. In one efficient slash, the thick hemp rope broke under her kodachi. When she raised her kodachi to deliver the final blow, lightning suddenly struck! A shock of electricity tore through Misao's sword-hand and into her arms, sending shockwaves through her body.

Dimly, she heard Kaoru's scream but as the cargo she was standing on slid off the deck to fall into the sea, Misao felt only a blessed numbness that made the darkness the pervaded her senses all the more pleasant. 

Tumbling into the sea, feeling the icy water close over her head and take her breath away, Misao closed her eyes. The turbulence of the sea disappeared as she sank deeper into the water's icy depths. Her fingers were still clutching the kodachis, she belatedly realized. 

"Gomen ne Otou-san... sayonara Aoshi-sama..." 

And then there was nothing left but the blissful dark.

******

Sipping his coffee in the park, Aoshi suddenly felt an icy chill run down his spine. Goosebumps rose all over his arms and he suddenly shivered as a sense of chilly premonition swamped his senses. 

__

Sayonara Aoshi-sama...

Aoshi started so badly he spilled his coffee at the pristine tablecloth of the cafe. "Misao?" he whispered hoarsely as he stared at the darkening stains. Soledad gazed at him strangely as she looked up from the paper she was reading, "Aoshi are you all right?" she asked.

"No," he answered shortly still staring grimly at the spilled coffee.

"Doushita Misao?" he thought grimly as his hands fisted beneath the table. 

TBC

Author's Notes: 

A big thank you's to my pre-readers and reviewers. Thank you Tomoe-san! You've been very supportive. The fics here had been wonderful, gomen nasai if I haven't been able to post my annual cookies. Ohayo Misanagi, Mikomi, I love your fics! If I forgot to mention other people, Gomen! Pls. R&R my fic minna, comments are most definitely appreciated. 


	6. Searching

Tutto A Te Mi Guida

Tutto A Te Mi Guida

Chapter 6- Searching

Disclaimers: I do not own RK and its characters. Sole credits would have to be given to Nobuhiro Watsuki for creating these wonderful characters. Except for my own characters, I am merely borrowing them for a few pages. Please don't sue, I'm a good kid.

**********

"What's wrong Aoshi? Aoshi?" asked Soledad worriedly as she tugged on Aoshi's sleeve. Still lost in space, Aoshi merely looked off in the distance, staring hard at... well, absolutely nothing!

With a jerk, he turned to face Soledad. "Gomen," he said tersely and stood up from the tiny cafe table. He tightened his hands on his trench coat, feeling the need to hold onto something. There was a tingling cold that prickled the back of his neck and oddly enough, he felt out of breath. 

Soledad suddenly reached for his hand, her clear brown eyes looking worriedly into his blank gaze. The moment her hand touched his, a small spark of warmth ignited, making Soledad gaze at their linked hands in surprise. 

The huge signet ring that she always wore on her right thumb glowed and felt warm. The sapphire in the middle suddenly glowed, as if answering or directing a signal. 

"Nani?" asked Aoshi in a wondering voice before he slowly pulled his hand away from Soledad's hand, the cold tingling at the back of his neck gone.

*******

A tall, well-built man was walking along the coastline when a sudden numbness in his arm immobilized him. "What the--?" he asked aloud as he massaged his tingling arm. It was as if a dozen cold sharp needles pierced his skin. 

A blue light caught the corner of his eye. He turned back to the shore and stared harder at the odd shape that he didn't notice when he walked earlier. His heart suddenly pounded and with a muffled curse, he sprinted to the shore, the pain in his arm all but gone.

As he came closer, the figure became more distinct in the early morning light. It was a female! A child most probably, from the slightness of her height and breadth. He dropped to his knees beside her ravaged form and carefully turned her over.

What he saw reminded him painfully of a girl from his past. She was wearing a tattered blue kimono, her obi barely hanging around her waist. He shifted to carry her over his arms when he noticed she held onto two flat objects very tightly. 

" A sword... no wait, two swords!" he muttered as he tried to pry the weapons out of her hold. It was gripped so tightly that when he tried to take it away that the girl he rescued inadvertently woke up.

"Doko wa desu?" she asked weakly before coughing out a mouthful of sea water. Gasping and shaking, the man who held her waited patiently until she had gotten all the water out of her system. He was rubbing her back in a reassuring manner, massaging it until all the salt water was expelled. She took a deep shuddering breath of relief.

"I assume you're Japanese miss. You're in England right now. In Cornwall actually, in the Northern coast. You're lucky to be alive," he said simply as he turned her to sit up more properly. 

Through blurry eyes, Misao saw a handsome visage. She got a faint impression of dark brown hair and golden brown eyes. His hair fell across his forehead in a way similar to Aoshi's. She felt a sharp lancing pain go through her chest, it was almost as if it was Aoshi who saved her. For a moment his ki was almost like Aoshi's. 

"All right Miss, I'll carry back you back to my place. You don't have to worry, I'm a rather harmless sort," he said dryly as he easily swung her into his arms. 

Misao closed her eyes, fighting back nausea and a splitting headache. Her whole body felt sensitive and sore. 'Must be the lightning,' she thought wryly before she let her thoughts scatter like the wind. 

"What's your name by the way Miss?" he asked before he stepped out of the shoreline and went straight towards the gate of a large opulent villa. 

She took one long at all the opulence, felt dizzy and said in English before she fainted, "My name is Misao Makimachi, the okashira of Oniwabanshuu."

********

The ragged ship, SS Meiji came into port at England much to the relief of all it's passengers. Sano stood grimly above the deck while Kenshin was holding Kaoru who had silent tears streaming down her face.

Yahiko wiped his fist against his eyes roughly. "I can't believe we lost Misao," he said haltingly as he gazed at the huge foreign port. Megumi laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder as she blinked away her own tears. " It's painful to lose people we care about Yahiko... but sometimes, it really happens..." whispered Megumi as she squeezed his shoulder.

With a fierce expression, Sano interjected, "Iie! Weasel girl can't be gone! She's too darn genki to be fish-bait! She'll be around..." he said. 

Kaoru looked up to agree with Sano fervently. "Hai! Misao's a fighter! She'll never give up! Let's just go luck for her all right minna?" asked Kaoru an old glimmer lighting up her cerulean eyes. Pumping her fist and energizing both Yahiko and Sano, she exclaimed, "Minna-san, let's go find our missing friend!"

"Aa!" agreed the rest of the Kenshin-gumi. As she turned to follow Sano and Yahiko who were strutting down the plank, she felt Kenshin suddenly grab hold of her hand. A blush rose in her cheeks as she felt the strength and gentle security Kenshin's sword-callused hands made her feel. "Doushite no Kenshin?" she asked watching his troubled violet eyes.

"Kaoru-dono when we first found Misao, the reason she never gave up was because she had a reason to go on living de gozaru yo..." began Kenshin as he tightened his grip around Kaoru's hand. "But now... now that Aoshi-dono has left her for good, what reason does she have to go on living?" asked Kenshin his keen eyes troubled.

"Masaka! I forgot--" whispered Kaoru as she covered her mouth with her hands. Nonetheless, she straightened her spine as she looked out the bustling city. "Demo... Misao still is alive. Because she has yet to succeed making Shinomori-san admit that he loves her. She'll never die without doing that one last thing," said Kaoru resolutely as she tightened her own hand over Kenshin's.

********

Misao slowly opened her eyes. Her head was clearer although the softness of the bed she lay on very uncomfortable. Gingerly, she sat up, her braid sliding forward and she surveyed her surroundings.

"Good morning!" chirped a voice to her right startling her so badly she got the spiral eyes. 

"Kyahhhh!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry my lady. My lord Gavin has sent me to be your maid," said the maid distressed at having startled Misao. Misao squinted at the tiny yet matronly woman who wore mostly black clothes with a white apron. The woman curtsied and fetched a tray near Misao's bedside table. "Here you go my lady, breakfast in bed," she said cheerfully.

Misao scratched her head as she looked at the lavish breakfast spread before her. There was no miso soup and rice, the food served was similar to the food served in the consulate brunch meeting. The accent was definitely English, decided Misao as she remembered the proper course of eating the foreign meal.

She spread her napkin on her lap, took the knife and fork with delicate precision and began cutting in with gusto. Her first bite made her close her eyes in bliss. The scrambled eggs were absolutely delicious! It was seasoned with spices and had a salty taste that stimulated her asian taste buds.

"Good morning," greeted a deep male voice as she opened her eyes in surprise. She turned a little to her right and found a tall, broad-shouldered man, English no doubt-- judging from the appearance of his clothes. But unlike most Englishmen, the shape of his eyes is dark and exotic and his skin swarthy.

She nodded in acknowledgement of his presence, every bit as arrogant as he appeared to be. Even though she was foreign and a female at that, she holds a very powerful post, the okashira of a ninja clan. "Those swords are yours I believe," he said nodding towards the direction of the sword. The maid gasped in surpise as Misao's eyes met his eyes again.

"Arigato-- I mean, thank you very much," said Misao as she reached for the twin blades at the table by her bedside. With a sigh of relief, she drew one of her kodachis and the familiar weight and sharpness of her weapon brought tears of relief to her eyes. She no longer felt vulnerable and weak-- two states she has learned to despise.

The man watched her silently, taking note of her ease and apparent comfort in the weapon. She handled the sword like it was a part of her arm. His eyes flickered in surprise as he watched Misao swing the blade in a rapid motion and quickly sheath it in the same second. He was surprised when Misao spoke to him again. 

"Ano-- you might have found a pouch in my obi sir," she said as she looked up, a confidence that radiated from her eyes illuminating her pale, wan face. He said nothing more as he tossed the heavy pouch into her hand which she deftly caught. 

"Thank you--"she said before she quirked her eyebrow inquiringly at him. He smiled a little before he answered, "My name is Gavin Carrington-- the earl of Gavinstock. I am pleased to meet you my lady Misao Makimachi of the Oniwabanshuu."

"Gavin," repeated Misao testing the strange foreign name. She gave him a slight smile that bespoke much weariness and a hint of lost hope. Her blue eyes lighted ever so briefly as she added, "My lord..."

Gavin blinked as Misao's face resembled someone's much longed for face. Her dainty face was a perfect picture of classical beauty, pure and angelic. Yet Misao's face had a battle-honed edge. As if she has won a hundred battles against demons and human enemies. Her hands had well-formed calluses, indicating her use of swords and weapons at an early age.

He shook himself out of his reverie. Being an okashira-- which literally translates to clan leader in Scotland, Misao is bound to be much tested in battle. His encounter with Japanese always bespoke of extraordinary skills in swords and martial arts. She must be very strong indeed to have become her clan's okashira.

"Well, Misao, I'll be off then. Try to get better soon and I'll try to help you when you're well enough to be on your feet and continue your journey," he said before he stepped back. Misao nodded gratefully. "I appreciate that," she said, her English clear enough, with only a slight hint of accent. 

"Good day, my lady," he said before walking out.

"Ja..." whispered Misao as she gazed silently at her weapons.

******


	7. Wishful Thinking

Tutto A Te Mi Guida

Tutto A Te Mi Guida

Chapter 7- Wishful Thinking

Disclaimers: I do not own RK and its characters. Sole credits would have to be given to Nobuhiro Watsuki for creating these wonderful characters. Except for my own characters, I am merely borrowing them for a few pages. Please don't sue, I'm a good kid.

*********

Misao took a deep breath as she sheathed her kodachis. She felt strong for the first time in weeks, feeling her muscles tighten and uncoil with the familiar pattern of her kata. She shook her head in disgust at her mobility... still too slow! Her near brush with death and the nerve wracking blow from the lightning bolt badly damaged her coordination.

She sensed a hostile presence behind her back. Tensing in preparation for an attack, she tried to analyze the ki. With a sigh of disappointment, slid her kodachis up the long sleeves of her voluminous nightgown. The ki felt pretty weak and petty. Most likely the ki of a spiteful Englishwoman.

"You shameless slut! How dare you parade in your sleeping clothes!" hissed an infuriated female voice. Her voice was imperious and cultured, her tone clearly meant for Misao's ears only.

With a sigh of impatience, Misao turned around and faced her 'adversary'. She found herself looking into the face of a tall, voluptuous woman whose face was of an unforgettable magnetism.

"Gom-- I mean, I'm afraid you misunderstood the situation, lady. I am a guest in this house, I am not a courtesan or a hired lady," said Misao concisely, looking at the astonished lady straight in the eye. Obviously, the lady had not seen Misao performing her katas or holding her kodachi. 

With a loud smack, the imperious woman has slapped Misao. 

Reflexively, Misao slapped the woman back and drew out one of her kodachis in a split-second movement that made the woman's eyes widen in sudden fear. "I wish you hadn't done that," said Misao softly in a menacing voice.

"Good grief! Lady Clarisse, Lady Misao is my guest! I really wish you hadn't attacked her!" said Gavin as he walked up to the two ladies, amusement glinting in his clear brown eyes. He chuckled silently as he watched Misao release and sheath her kodachi in a flick of a wrist, completely ignoring a furious and shaken Clarisse.

Clarisse threw herself into Gavin's arms immediately, sobbing in pretentious fear. "Oh Gavin! It was so horrifying! She attacked me all of a sudden and pointed her ugly sword at me! Please kick her out of your beautiful home!" said Clarisse as she sobbed.

Gavin saw Misao clench her hands at the mention of her precious kodachis being ugly. With a disdainful sniff at Clarisse's clinging hands, she nodded tersely at Gavin before walking away, her movements lithe and supple.

"Who was she Gavin?" asked Clarisse with hatred flaring in her beautiful gray eyes. "Misao Makimachi, okashira of the Oniwabanshuu," answered Gavin stepping away from Clarisse's embrace. Clarisse gave Misao's retreating back with a venomous glare as she complained, "Goodness Gavin, you always insist sheltering such pathetic scraps of humanity! Remember your blue-stocking Spanish charge? So pathetic..." murmured Clarisse gauging Gavin's expression from the corner of her eye.

"I don't see anything wrong with females who use their minds rather than live for gossip and clothes," answered Gavin his expression shuttered and unreadable. Clarisse's mind worked in rapid motions as she inquired further about Misao and Gavin's mysterious charge whom for her part was rumored to have been proposed to by Gavin.

"This Misao seemed to be a bigger obstacle", mused Clarisse as she was escorted out of Gavin's sea-side estate. It looks as if she must pull a bigger tragedy that would send the Makimachi whore scurrying back to Asia, thought Clarisse with a malicious smile on her gorgeous face.

********

"Why so insistent in going to England, Aoshi?" asked Soledad with an unreadable expression on her face. Surprised, Aoshi turned to answer, "I thought you wanted to see the whole world and I think there's something in England that's waiting for us."

Abruptly, Soledad turned her back and instead stared out at the sea. A few days ago, Aoshi spoke up about leaving Spain. Wanting to keep her polite yet distant friend, Soledad volunteered to go along and keep him company. Now she wants nothing more than go off at the nearest port. England was not her favorite place in the whole world.

"What's wrong?" asked Aoshi quietly, sensing the turmoil seething under Soledad's nonchalant manner. Soledad turned and gave him a weak smile but her thoughts were so far away as she answered softly, "It's just that... I've always viewed England as a place of great pain..." She looked up and met Aoshi's eyes, her own gaze full of past hurt and sorrow. "I found unsurpassed grief in England Aoshi, somehow I think you might find it too..." she whispered as she looked off in the horizon again.

Silence reigned as their thoughts were consumed by their own pasts.

******

"Good morning Misao!" greeted Gavin cheerfully as he sat down beside Misao who was reclining against a huge evergreen tree. Misao smiled as she greeted back, "Ohayo gozaimsu-- I mean good morning Gavin," she said her smile widening a little.

It was a strange companionship they found in each other. Misao found Gavin's title as an Earl worthy of respect but not reverence. She calls him by his first name than rather 'My lord.' Gavin found Misao's respect gratifying since he long ago tired of people who revered his title simply because it held power and influence.

"I saw a portrait in your study Gavin... I'm wondering who the girl in white was. Her eyes were so vibrant, I couldn't help but gaze at her picture for hours," asked Misao idly twirling a kunai between her fingers. She felt Gavin tense at the question beside her and her instinct told her she hit a nerve.

"Just a little girl from my past," he answered and lapsed into a brooding silence. "From the looks of the portrait, she might not be such a little girl anymore Gavin," replied Misao as she flipped the kunai in air, catching it by its wooden handle. A long silence ensued and Misao strained to hear Gavin's hoarse whisper. "No, she's not a little girl... not anymore."

Misao glanced at the pain filled expression on his face and decided to drop the subject. She wouldn't want Gavin digging around her own past just as she did. She opened her mouth to apologize but Gavin's deep voice made her mouth dry at his sudden and terrifying question.

"Who is Aoshi-sama?" he asked gauging Misao's reaction as well. Misao stiffened and felt faint at hearing that beloved and much despised name once again. "I heard you crying out his name in delirium when I was nursing you back to health," explained Gavin feeling satisfied at catching Misao unguarded. 

"A man-- a man from my past," murmured Misao her eyes looking bleak and desolate. Unconsciously, her right hand touched the necklace. Tracing the familiar contours of her pendant, she felt a little more at ease and tried to breathe easier. "He-- he left me and gave me this necklace as a final parting gift," continued Misao, her eyes was painful reflection of her thoughts.

Curious, Gavin took a closer look at the necklace. His eyes widened as he took in a well-known shape. The same rose shaped emerald and gold-tapered filigree. With expectant eyes, he turned the necklace over, oblivious to Misao's gasp.

__

Tutto a te mi guida

He felt his vision waver in an overwhelming sense of poignant memories. With a sigh, he released the pendant and leaned back against the tree, closing his eyes in remembrance of those forgotten days. The way _she_ would knock at his study and bring in fresh tea every afternoon, reminding him not to work too hard. The way moonlight would highlight her dark hair with silver, her lips with moonbeams.

"Gavin, what's wrong?" asked Misao not wanting to intrude upon Gavin's seemingly memory filled world. With a sad smile, Gavin turned to look at Misao's shadowed eyes with concern so clear in their blue depths.

"You know Misao, when he gave you that necklace... maybe it wasn't a parting gift. Maybe it was a promise that one day, he'll come back to you," whispered Gavin.

A lone breeze swept through, carrying thoughts and dreams, hopes and old promises. Silence reigned as the past was intertwined too deeply in their present. "No, it was goodbye Gavin. I don't think he can ever learn to love me," answered Misao as she closed her eyes. "But maybe you do have other people waiting for you back home who care for you," he said before falling silent. Gavin suddenly stood up and offered his hand to Misao. 

"I forgot to tell you that the reason why I came here is because I wanted to invite you as my companion on the Duke Havisham's ball. Would you honor me with your charming presence milady okashira?" asked Gavin. Misao gazed at his proffered hand in askance, memories clouding her vision.

Suddenly, she smiled. It was a radiant smile, a smile of renewed hope. She placed her hand in his, feeling suddenly revitalized. An old familiar light revived in the cerulean depths of her eyes. "All right. Just tonight... and then you'll help me find my friends. I have a job to do in Japan," she answered allowing Gavin to pull her up to her feet. 

With a smile of renewed vigor, Gavin nodded in agreement," You've got a deal Misao," he said as he led Misao back to his estate.

********

Nervously, Misao smoothed back her gown of royal blue velvet. Her hair was swept up high and entwined in the strands were ropes of diamonds. The only other ornament she wore is the necklace Aoshi gave her. She felt confident and nervous at the same time. What a strange rush it is, to finally be able to feel again.

"Daijoubu yo Misao, you look great," whispered Gavin patting her hand. Misao forgot her nervousness as she looked up in surprise at Gavin's cocky expression. Her eyes narrowed and she punched his arm lightly. "You knew my language all along and you made me at times stutter and feel foolish!" exclaimed Misao unaware that avid gazes were hooked onto their seemingly 'loving' display.

"That's her," whispered Lady Clarisse behind her fan as she stood next to an overdressed middle-aged man. With startled eyes, he gave Clarisse an imploring look. "Look, my lady, isn't my debt fully paid? I've ruined the other young lady with such success before, surely you can get another poor fool to do your 'errands'," he whined. 

Clarisse turned to give him such a wrathful look he immediately began stepping away. "No! Unless I say that you're free, you're not! Now do it before I lose my patience! I want you to make it slow and painful," said Clarisse as she gave a mock smile above the silken slats of her fan.

She watched Misao conquer the ball with surprising ease. Her delicate beauty and innate grace called the attention of young swains. Her fluid moments caught and drew one's eye and even Clarisse found herself becoming besotted with the young woman in blue velvet.

"On second thought Chambers, you better save her for me. Give her a hard time but wait for me at dawn," Clarisse said before turning away to join the society.

*********

Misao found the ball enchanting. It was a thousand times more beautiful than the formal parties she occasionally attended in disguise at Kyoto. She felt her smile slipping at the thought of home. 

__

"I sure hope everything's all right back at the Aoiya," she mused aloud as she nodded and tried to listen attentively to the Earl of something who was speaking to her. 

__

"There's nothing back there for me except my... family. Oh goodness, I forgot about Kaoru-chan and Himura!" she remembered and began casting a look around the crowded ballroom. She couldn't stand the heavy perfumes and the rustling of silk and satin. She felt a sudden urgency to assure her friends that she was alive and well and that Aoshi Shinomori is a thing of the past.

A waltz was struck and Misao found herself swept up in Gavin's arms. "You seem troubled," he said, perceiving her thoughts. Misao gave a rueful smile. "I don't know what's wrong with me but I suddenly feel the urge to find my friends and go back to Japan. It seems as if I do have a lot of things left unfinished," explained Misao.

The haunting strains of the waltz made Gavin's understanding smile all the more poignant. "I see you've realized what really matters Misao," he said with an impish look in his eyes. With a sigh, Misao rested her head against Gavin's broad chest. Being held in his arms like this reminded her of all that she had lost-- her beloved Aoshi-sama but then again, as Gavin had said life is too precious to be wasted on regrets.

"Yes, I think I know what you mean now. There _are_ people who care about me who I care about too," she whispered thinking of Jiya and the Oniwabanshuu. A sudden turn in the dance made her snap out of her thoughts as she looked up in surprise at Gavin. He winked slyly at her.

"Well mademoiselle, looks like this is going to be the start of your new life. Let me at least show you what England is made of before you hurry back home to where you belong," he said smiling as he began whirling her in circles.

Laughing, Misao smiled at him. A genuine smile of gratitude and caring. "Thank you for being so nice to me Gavin. I'm sure your young lady wherever she may be shares the same tender feelings of love and loyalty you have for her," said Misao slyly enjoying the startled expression on Gavin's face.

With a lofty smirk she answered his unspoken questions, "The Oniwabanshuu is an excellent network of spies. I do have my own means and ways of ferreting the truth, I am their okashira you know," she said smugly as Gavin laughed her audacity.

********

Soledad mumbled curses under her breath as she stepped down from the dock. Never in her wildest dreams did she ever dream of returning to England! It held to many painful memories for her and the person she most determinedly avoided in the last three years.

"Are you all right Soledad?" asked Aoshi watching the play of emotions on his companion's face. "Fine," she answered tersely and pulled the hood of her cloak over her head. Aoshi shrugged and took a deep breath at the cold and biting air of England. He found himself huddling into his trenchcoat at the coolness of the country.

After walking in silence to a nearby inn he said, "You never told me England was so cold." "You never asked," she answered as she stopped by a respectable looking establishment. "Why don't we stay here Aoshi? From the looks of it, a storm is brewing," observed Soledad. 

Looking up at the midnight-blue sky that was suddenly streaked by lightning, Aoshi nodded. "Aa, looks like a huge storm to me," he said frowning, feeling a strange sense of peril looming.

Jagged streaks of lighting colored the sky once more.

"Yes, a real storm," he muttered feeling a strange chill in the air.

*******


End file.
